Friday, July 25, 2008


Okay, so I really do want to keep up with blogging...I feel like it's like working out...the more I do it, the easier it will become and the more I'll enjoy it. My problem is that I get writer's block only because I struggle with how honest or transparent I want to be with my writing. I could just post about stuff that happens, but I feel like that's not deep enough. Am I just feeling false condemnation? I can make this whatever I want to make it, right??

My sis suprised us with a visit a few weeks ago. It ended up being a really nice time together, but started out really rough. We haven't fought like that in well, maybe ever. I've never felt such hatred towards her....which is a huge problem! I'm pretty sure she felt the same way. I am glad though, that we were able to fight it out face to face. Phone arguments -- yeah, not so much. I think that we resolved most, if not all, of what was going on. We also discovered that the bottom line problem was that we missed each other. It's a weird thing to miss someone. The depth of that heartache is fairly indescribable.

What I've recently learned is this: I am glad my sis is growing up and into her own person, I am so proud of how hard she works and cares for the people around her, I admire her adventure and efforts to lavish people. Beyond all of that...we've missed each other....and I mean 'miss' in the sense of missing a connection. We just haven't clicked for a long time -- and that is SO IMPORTANT. I think that's what we miss most about each other...the connection. It's such a precious thing to have a sister and just, deep-in-your-bones kind of know each other. And to miss the connection of that knowing is to miss part of yourself and to miss a huge part of that other person.

Oh Jesus, have mercy on our hearts and bind us to those we love...keep us tender and sensitive to those we love. Let us not get wrapped up in a momentary offense or disgruntled behavior, but let us see into the heart and depth of relationship. Please heal broken connections and bridge new ones. Give us desire for restored relationship.

Sis...I love you.